At Thanksgiving, I baked an apple pie to bring to my daughter’s house for dinner. I made it from scratch, piled the Cortland apples high and got the sugar and cinnamon just right. The crust was picture perfect, and the pie was a hit.
But let’s go back to that “made it from scratch” claim. I did that, in the usual sense; however, I used a friend’s recipe for the crust and my Mom’s recipe for the filling. I didn’t mill the flour, milk the cow, churn the butter, or pick the apples. Along with those items, I bought the salt, cinnamon, canola oil and lemon juice. I guess I have to say I had some help with this. Without a lot of other people, I wouldn’t have known how to make the crust and filling and wouldn’t have had the ingredients, kitchen tools, oven and electricity to do it.
Some years ago, I built a large shed that was one-third a workshop and two-thirds for storing firewood. It was about 18 or 20 feet long, 8 feet deep (plus an overhang in the front), and 10 feet high to the peak of the roof. I designed the structure, poured the footings, felled the trees I used for sills, stripped the bark and branches from them, and built the whole thing myself, using only hand tools.
There I go again. I didn’t fell the trees or mill the lumber for the siding, or mine the limestone and make the cement mix, and I bought the metal roofing, a used door and windows, and all the small stuff, like nails and hinges. My Dad had taught me how to use tools and ladders, which I also bought. Plus, we have many generations before us to thank for our knowledge of how to build strong, wooden structures, so I guess credit for making the shed on my own goes far beyond me, too.
We depend on each other far more than we generally acknowledge. During the early phases of the COVID pandemic, we expressed enormous gratitude for health care professionals, who stayed on the job fighting a new disease that we barely understood, sometimes risking or giving their lives. Worldwide, supply chains failed, and we did without. We became acutely aware of how much we depend on people across the job spectrum who make our lives and standard of living possible, including many in often low-paying service jobs. More than once, when someone helped me, I thanked them “for coming to work today.”
This year’s summer flooding reminded us of the importance of local businesses and services and of all the people who work in them. Although Barre, Montpelier and other communities are still dealing with flood losses, the widespread community spirit to help with clean-up, recovery and planning is inspiring.
While crises bring out hordes of volunteers, we sometimes overlook how much time and expertise volunteers regularly give to our food banks, schools, libraries, hospitals, senior centers, youth sports and other social services and nonprofits. For many organizations, cumulatively, volunteers donate hundreds of hours each year, allowing them to serve us better than they would be able to otherwise.
As we do during crises, during this season of joy, generosity and kindness, we tend to express our gratitude more often. It would benefit us as individuals and society as a whole, if we used the holidays as a starting point to stay more aware of how much we need each other.
Two decades ago, in the satiric movie, “A Day Without a Mexican,” Southern California quickly fell apart after all the Mexicans mysteriously disappeared overnight. A Vermont variation on that could be a day without store clerks, delivery truck drivers or wait staff; our lives would come to a standstill. What if all teachers, nurses or telephone and internet employees disappeared? Actually, ongoing staff shortages remain a problem, with some businesses needing to reduce hours because they don’t have enough help and some organizations dropping services.
Despite the many troubles we have across the state, nation and world — maybe because of those troubles — the more we support, accept and appreciate each other, the better the world becomes. The contributions and achievements of individuals are important, and we should give people credit for taking the initiative to do things on their own; at the same time, it is important to recognize we are able to live our independent lives, to have a good standard of living, and to be self-reliant, do-it-yourselfers, because of opportunities that our community makes possible.
Once years ago, while I was away visiting family in Connecticut over the holidays, there was a snowstorm in Vermont; getting home in the dark, after a long day and a long drive, I was thrilled that someone had shoveled me out. I tried to find out who did it, but it remains a secret. That kind act has stayed with me as a reminder of how much we can brighten someone else’s day. I have paid the phantom shoveling favor forward.
Research has consistently shown when we treat other people with generosity or kindness, it is a win/win. Our kindhearted and charitable acts, large or small, visible or anonymous, are good for our own spirit and mental health, as well as for those for whom we do something.
We are deeply dependent on each other, within our communities and across the world, sometimes with people who are like us, but mostly with people who are different from us. We are interdependent in the moment and across time, and we all have richer lives because of it. I am grateful for that every day.
Tom McKone lives in Montpelier.
